Finding my way back home
by LongLiveTheQueen82
Summary: Regina would be damned if she would just go back to being the evil queen. She would be damned if she would just believe that there was no way out, and she would be damned if she wouldnt find a way back - a way back to Henry and Emma. SQ Fanfic
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: hey everyone :) it´s been a long time and everyone who gets an Author Alert from me must be thinking "who the heck is that?" lol. But yes I am back, it's been years I think since I wrote something and work has gotten the best of me and writing while my bosses are looking at my computer is pretty darn hard ;) and yes to answer your question, I always wrote my fanfictions at work. But shhh, don't tell anyone :D Now tho, I am back and after the winter finale I just could not get over the episode and how it ended and before I knew it the first chapter of this fic was being born. **

**The fanfiction is set right after the moment that the curse is being broken. No one year time jump because well… because I decided that I didn't want that in my fanfic, hi hi. Now please read and I hope you like it :)**

**Thanks to my lovely beta ash for reading it and telling me it didn't suck ;) thanks honey**

* * *

**FINDING MY WAY BACK HOME**

**CHAPTER 1**

Regina could see the green smoke getting closer, finally engulfing her body as her eyes were still fixed on the yellow bug that drove away in a slow manner. Tears made their way down her pale cheeks as her heart was starting to crumble into a million of tiny pieces seeing Henry and Emma leave Storybrooke.

She knew that everything was her own fault, that in order to break the curse, she had to let go of the thing she loved most, and said thing was sitting in the hideous yellow car and even though Regina hated this vehicle with a passion she would do anything to be sitting right there with her son and her – Emma.

A scream was about to leave her lips, a last goodbye to her son and the woman who had given her the greatest gift as suddenly her lungs filled with smoke and before she knew it, her world went black.

"Regina" She heard a voice echo through the darkness.

"Regina!" it got louder and she tried to open her eyes but felt her eyelids not moving

"Regina please!" the voice said again and finally with a loud groan, the petite brunette opened her eyes to star at the person above her.

"Thank god you are alive. I was about to drench you in water to wake you up" Snow white whispered her voice sounding seriously frightened.

"If I had been dead dear, water wouldn't have helped, you know that right?" She asked her stepdaughter with a soft glare and no matter how many obstacles they had fought together and how many things they had gone through in their past, Regina would always – always – hate her just a little.

"I could have tried kissing you" Snow mentioned with a wink and Regina shot daggers at her with her eyes.

"Well that would have definitely killed me" Regina responded dryly but took Snow's outstretched hand as the younger woman helped her up.

The brunette looked around, taking in her surroundings and although it was dark she could clearly see that they were back in the enchanted Forrest. Their appearance had changed and once again Snow was spotting long raven hair and Regina noticed her own dark locks framing her face. The fashionable clothes from Storybrooke were gone and instead of wearing Gucci and Prada, Regina was now spotting one of her famous Evil Queen dresses and a long black coat.

"We´re back" Snow breathed and she didn't know whiter to smile or cry about that fact.

"Way to state the obvious dear" Regina whispered as her heart hammered in her chest.

This place held so many horrible memories for her and when she had enacted the curse almost 30 years ago, she thought she would never see, let alone live in this land ever again. She hadn't gone through all the terrible things just to end back here, unhappy and alone all over again. To enact the curse she had lost her father and to break the curse she had lost Henry. It pained her to realize that the saying was really a true one. Villains didn't get happy endings.

Snow must have caught the woman's gaze because she sighed softly "I miss them too, but they are gone Regina. They are in the real world and we are back… to being characters out of a storybook" she whispered and it seemed so unreal to even her own ears.

It took a lot of control not to slap her because yes, Regina knew that they were gone, that they had no chance on ever seeing them ever again and the worst thing was, even if she managed to somehow get back to the real world, if by some holy miracle she made it to Boston or New York or wherever the hell Emma had taken Henry, they wouldn't even remember her. The last 12 years were gone, erased from their minds and replaced by new memories that Regina had made up – her parting gift to Emma.

Counting backwards from ten to one she took several deep breaths before she nodded softly and looked at everyone else who had come back with the curse. Of course not all were right in the same spot as her, she was sure that they were dropped off at every part of the forest but the few people that had stood with her at the town line were all looking at her, feeling probably just as miserable as she was.

At least Snow had her perfect Charming husband and even though Regina knew that they both would miss Henry and Emma terribly, they had each other.

Hook was standing close to Tinker Bell who appeared to have her wings back, and all of the dwarfs were huddled together, debating what to do next.

She even noticed that Neil was comforting Belle and Regina swallowed hard at the remembrance that Rumple had given his own life to save theirs. She had hated him with a passion but in a strange way he had been a part of her life. She had threatened his life just as much as he had threatened hers but they had never killed each other. That had to stand for something.

Regina on the other hand – was all alone. Once again she was left with no one. It was just her now – her, and the memories of a better life.

"What are we doing now? Were shall we go?" Charming wanted to know and you could see that even he was more than just a little confused about the current situation.

"I don't know" Regina whispered her voice quiet. She really had no idea what to do, where to go and how to handle everything. She hadn't even thought about all these things when she had used magic to get them all back, hell she didn't even know if they still had a place to stay.

"Our... our castle... it's still there" Snow mentioned softly and she remembered how she had been here with her daughter not too long ago. Their home was broken and most of the rooms needed some redoing but the castle itself was still in place.

"So we all just go back to whatever we did before all of this shit happened?" Regina called out "Cause I didn't work so damn hart to just go back to this nonsense" she continued. "I lost my father, I lost my son and I lost my ... I lost Emma in the process and I will not just stand here and accept the fact that I am nothing more than the Evil Queen"

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. They hadn't expected and outburst like that and while they all knew that it was ultimately Regina's fault that all of this had happened; they knew she had scarified a lot to help them, to save them, to keep them alive. She had lost just as much as they did and in the last two years she had changed, she had transformed from the Evil Queen they once knew to just being Regina. She was still manipulative and bad tempered but she wasn't evil and her heart was in the right place.

"Regina, it doesn't help anyone to lose your nerve" the younger brunette told her former stepmother

"Oh and it helps to just stand here and decide to live in your own castle, going on with our life's as if nothing happened?" she shot back

"Listen, I am very aware that this situation is - bad – but we need a place to stay. It is dark, we are in the enchanted forest and if I remember correctly, us fairytale characters were not the only creatures in this realm" Snow said softly speaking of the ogres

Regina sighed, hating when snow was right, it was a feeling like someone had peeled off her skin and deep-fried it.

"So I suggest we go back there and sleep it off and talk about everything else tomorrow" Snow continued and Regina wanted to strangle her for being so calm about all of this but well this was snow for you.

With her head hanging low, the former Mayor followed snow and her people to her castle, knowing that tomorrow couldn't come fast enough for her liking.

TBC

* * *

I really hoped you liked the first chapter. Please let me know what you think about it and if you have any ideas or requests for me to add in, just say so :)

Suz


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: Hi everyone :) First of all I wanted to say thank to all of those who reviewed and followed this story. I know I am knew to this fandom as this is my first OUAT fanfiction so if you have ideas or criticism please don't hesitate to let me know of it.

**Phnxgrl** – I am really glad you enjoyed this. And Regina won't be feeling miserable forever. She does have a purpose and a goal :)

**Ashley** – I know it took me awhile but a promise is a promise. And well who would have thought a year ago that I would jump onto that ship bandwagon lol. But here I am :D. Thanks for your review and for beta reading once again. Hugs

**Guest** – Glad you did :) what's your name so that I don't have to write guest? :D

**JoriKelenaMaddianFratthewLece** – Thank you. I am really glad you like it. And I hope you will like chapter 2 just the same :)

* * *

**xxx**

Chapter 2 is Emma´s POV so there is no Regina but don't worry people, I will get those two back together because that is why we have Fanfictions, right? ;) Oh another note. I DID NOT read any "after winterfinale" fanfictions yet as I don't want them to mingle with my own ideas. So if you read anything that has been used in another story it's completely unintentional. And just so you know – I am not over the episode yet :( sniiiiifffff.

I originally thought about making this fanfiction about between 10 and 15 chapters long. But I think I will wrap this up earlier and maybe make it 5 – 8 chapters long the most.

The Rating so far is T but if you guys want I can change it into M later on. You just have to let me know :) I don´t mind some smut (if you go through my profile you can see that I DO WRITE smut lol) but I have no idea what you guys prefer.

Okay I think I wrote enough, now enjoy the new chapter to "Finding my way back home"

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

Emma had been tossing and turning all night. Her left leg was hanging out of the bed and her arms were tucked under her torso as her eyes flickered again and again.

_"You are Henrys mother?"_ the woman asked. Emma looked at her, brown sparkling eyes, the dark hair that framed her face and those pretty impressive – surely expensive clothes – that were covering her body. The look in the eyes of the petite brunette was weird. It held pain and fear but why would someone fear her to be Henrys mother? She had been his mother for the last almost 12 years.

_"Of course I love him"_ was the next thing she heard her say. It was a different scene, but the same woman who said it. Still for the life of her couldn't remember her name or whatever she had to do with her son. Why on earth would a strange woman love HER SON? Dreams were strange sometimes.

_"No matter what you think, no matter what anyone tells you, I do love you." _The woman spoke with so much fear while she was touching Henrys shoulders. Emma swallowed hard, standing on the side line and watching yet another scene in front of her. Clearly she could see the woman's love for her son but who on earth was she?

With a start the blonde woke up, her heart hammering in her chest as her clouded mind tried to make sense of the things she had just dreamed about. Shaking her head Emma sighed softly. She had been having this sort of dreams for the better part of a year. They were mostly the same. Whenever she fell asleep, the dark haired beauty invaded her thoughts rapidly. Sometimes it was scenes of her with Henry like the one tonight – sometimes it was just the two of them.

For the life of her Emma couldn't remember ever meeting this woman. And hell she would have remembered those beautiful brown eyes and those big red pouty lips and she sure as hell would have remembered those heels and never-ending legs.

What was happening to her? Why on earth was she dreaming about this woman? A woman who had such a hold on her that she couldn't let one night go by without picturing her face as soon as she closed her eyes.

Sighing she checked the clock on her nightstand. Thankfully it was almost 6 a.m. and she could get up without drawing attention from her son. Sometimes, after dreams like that, when she awoke in the middle of the night, she would walk to the kitchen, trying to somehow make sense of everything while cooking pancakes at an ungodly hour. More often than not she would wake Henry and he would sit with her.

He never asked why she was up, he simple took out the syrup and the milk as he flipped the pancakes onto two separate plates with a smile, setting them in front of them and starting to dig in.

Rubbing her eyes and stretching her muscles she slowly got out of bed and walked over to her master bathroom. Her appearance in the mirror just resembled how she was feeling and she sighed before deciding that a hot shower could probably help with that. Undressing herself her mind once again went back to those dreams. She had no idea why this woman had such a hold on her and how she was connected to Henry but she would find out.

Stepping under the warm shower spray she could feel herself relaxing immediately. Hot showers had always worked for her and for as long as the water was cascading down, her mind was clear. It was like magic and yet the word made her scoff softly although she didn't know why.

After about 15 minutes she turned off the running water and wrapped herself in a fluffy towel before she dried off and got dressed in her usual wear – jeans, a tank top and a flannel shirt. She left the bedroom to go and wake up her son – it was a school day after all and it was time.

She opened the door slowly and smiled as she noticed Henrys body all over the bed, one of his legs hanging over the side and his left arm was tucked under his chin. "He really is my son" she thought to herself as she approached him "hey sleepyhead" she whispered softly "it is time to wake up" she continued as she mussed his hair.

"Hmm just 5 more minutes mom" he repeated not even cracking an eye open.

"And we all know what 5 more minutes mean, so no honey. Get up, get your teeth's brushed, dress yourself in some warm clothes and then join me in the kitchen. I will make breakfast" she told him with a smile as he groaned but finally started moving and blinking his eyes open.

"I´ll be right there" he told her and Emma smiled. She had really raised her son well. Yet that thought stung something inside of her again but she had no idea why.

Making her way to the kitchen she took out the ingredients for French toast and got to work quickly. After about 5 minutes the scent of cinnamon filled the room and she smiled. Cinnamon definitely was something they both loved. She added some more to the already done French toast, and set the plates down on the counter waiting for her son, who appeared in the kitchen two minutes later, fully dressed and with a smile on his face.

"Hmmm that smells fantastic" he told his mother as he walked over to the fridge and took out the syrup and the carton of milk. He filled the two glasses that were standing on the counter and after he had almost drowned his toast in syrup he started to eat.

"I really have no idea how you can eat it like that" Emma smirked as she started to eat.

"I love it like that" he only responded and munched away.

"Oh mom, I almost forgot. We have this – thing – for school where we have to write down the meaning of our given name. Why our parents gave it to us and what it means to them" he told Emma while finishing his toast and cleaning up his plate.

Emma looked up at her son and suddenly was at a loss for words. "I… uh…" she whispered and for the first time she thought about the fact that she had no freaking idea why Henry was named Henry.

"Was it someone famous? Or am I named after someone you know?" Henry asked and well he knew that his mother didn't know her real parents so it couldn't be that.

"I… "Emma started thinking and for the life of her she couldn't remember. Of course she had named her son, hadn't she? Who else would have named him?

"I was 18 kid… I… maybe Henry was the name of some singer in a punk band I used to like" She whispered softly, hoping it wouldn't sound too bad. She loved her son but really, the naming part? She didn't know why Henry was the name she had picked for him.

"Gee, thanks mom" he told her and rolled his eyes "I will just make something up then, like you named me after someone close to you or something" he let her know as he finished up packing his bag back.

"I am sorry Henry, I wasn't really in my right state of mind back then, but I do love your name and so do you right?" she asked and he nodded which at least made her smile again.

"Come on now, let me drive you to school" she whispered as she grabbed his lunch and the car keys before they left their New York apartment, riding the elevator down to the parking garage and entered her yellow bug.

The drive to school was quiet as Emma chewed on her bottom lip while Henry wrote down an apparently made up story on how his mother had decided up on the name she had given him.

She felt bad, yes but she really couldn't think back to the day she had named him. Of course she remembered how she had held him for the first time, how his little fingers had reached up to her and how she thought that he was the most precious little boy she had ever seen, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out why she gave him this special name.

About 10 minutes later they finally reached Henrys school and she stopped the car and smiled "be a good boy and behave" she told her son although Henry never had any problems in school but still it couldn't hurt to say something responsible. "I packed you lunch. Peanut butter and Jelly, a granola bar and an apple" she whispered and he nodded at her

"Thanks mom. Pick me up at 4?" he asked and she nodded

"Of course honey, I'll see you then. Enjoy" she whispered and hugged him before he left the car.

She was about to start the engine again when she saw two older people walking by, eyeing the bug.

"Gosh Rose, do you remember those cars? I had one like that about 30 years ago" The old man told his wife with a crooked smile.

"That wasn't a car dear, it was a deathtrap" She mused and nudged his arm before they passed Emma.

Starting the engine and driving along the street she let the words sink in and once again she had no idea why but the way that woman spoke, the word she called her beloved car made her heart sting really bad.

Something definitely wasn't right and now Emma was on alert.

**TBC**

* * *

**I really hoped you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. I am actually a little more satisfied with this chapter rather than the last. :) please let me know what you think. Reviews keep me motivated. Thank you**

**Oh and I changed my penname :) like it?**

**Suz**


End file.
